Anxiety does not simply go away when we pray to God for our concerns. It goes when we worship God, thank him, and we allow him to be truly King of our lives, and of the Universe. When we worship and thank the Lord, we are undermining our reasons to be anxious. The bigger God is in our own hearts, the less room there is in our hearts for anxiety.

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When we have encountered other passages of scripture that teach the counter-cultural message that men and women are to have some unique roles in the family and in the church, I have not shied away from teaching and explaining it. There is an often repeated teaching that men are to serve their families and churches in spiritual leadership. Paul says, on more than one occasion “Man is the head of woman,” meaning spiritual head (as Christ is head of the church).

However, though fewer and fewer churches in the Western world are willing to keep teaching this, there are some who do, and among them, at times, they take it too far. It would be utterly wrong and unbiblical to suggest that women are somehow lesser in status, or less capable. Though, according to scripture, roles involving “spiritual headship” belong to men alone, from the very beginning of Christianity, women were vitally involved in all sorts of different important ministries and Christian service.

From within scripture we know that some women provided financial and practical support to Jesus and the disciples. Later, women opened their homes in hospitality to fellow believers, both for church services, and also as places where Christian ministers were welcome to stay. They prayed, both privately, and out loud during worship, and some were called by God to be prophetesses. Some women labored side by side with their husbands in discipling believers. Women taught and discipled other women, and children. Some women were considered deaconesses, which was a role that involved coordinating practical, and sometimes financial, matters for the church.. Some women served as messengers between Christians in various cities. A woman named Phoebe carried Paul’s letter to the Romans from Corinth to Rome.

We know from the writings of early Christians that some women had ministries visiting the sick, and prisoners, and helping to see to their needs. Women brought communion from church services to give to those who couldn’t be there, for whatever reason. They ministered to orphans and widows. Though such things aren’t often mentioned, no doubt some women ministered through music, and others through art, and others through particular skills they had, like weaving or sewing.

Jesus, and his teachings through the apostles, elevated the status of women and marriage, and women responded by trusting and serving him whole-heartedly.

So, it should not surprise us to see that Paul testifies that these two women, Euodia and Syntyche, have labored for the gospel side by side with Paul. Whatever Paul’s own teaching about male spiritual headship means, it does not mean that women cannot have important roles in ministry, or the church. Clearly, Paul expected women to be deeply involved in the mission of Christ, just as he also expected that of men.

Unfortunately the two women who are the subject of verse 2 were not getting along with each other. There has been a lot of speculation about what the problem might have been, but no firm evidence. Paul’s exhortation is for them to put aside their differences and agree in the Lord.

Next, Paul says another thing that has caused a great deal of speculation.

Yes, I also ask you, true partner, to help these women

It stands out in the text. He has been speaking in the plural to the Philippians, and now suddenly he speaks to a single individual, whom he calls “my true partner.” More literally, the Greek is something like, “My legitimate yoke-partner.” The idea of a yoke partner comes from agriculture. Often two oxen would be selected for similar size and strength, and complementary temperaments. The oxen would be harnessed to each other with a wooden yoke, and with the yoke, they would work together to pull things. See the picture below. Speaking of people, it means that they are linked together in some way for a common purpose.

So who was this “legitimate yoke-partner?”

One fascinating possibility is that it could be Paul’s wife. It is clear that Paul was not married when he wrote 1 Corinthians (read 1 Corinthians 7:8). But that was almost ten years before he wrote this letter to the Philippians. He could have gotten married in the interim. The term “legitimate yoke-partner” does evoke thoughts of marriage. Clement of Alexandria, writing about a hundred years later, thinks that this might be the case. It would also add a new layer to the way Paul was reassuring them at the beginning of the letter that things would probably turn out well for him. It would also make sense that he is asking his wife to help sort out a dispute between two women.

But if Paul was married by this time, it seems strange that his wife would not be mentioned at all in the book of Acts, which followed Paul all the way up to the time he was imprisoned in Rome (from where he is writing this letter). There are reasons I could think of why she wouldn’t be mentioned, but I’m not sure they are more likely than the fact that he actually remained single his whole life.

Some commentators think that Paul is writing directly to Epaphroditus, but that seems strange, since Epaphroditus was carrying the letter. Paul could have spoken to him face to face about the matter. Others suggest Timothy, but the same thing applies to him.

One possibility, that I think is more likely, is that he is speaking to Luke. Luke spent at least 8 years in Philippi, and he might have actually been from there originally. I suspect anyway that Luke returned to Philippi, after he saw Paul brought safely to Rome (which Luke writes about at the end of Acts.)

One other possibility is that it is Lydia, who hosted the first house church in Philippi. I don’t really have reason to think it is her, other than that she lived there, and was one of the first Christians, and opened her home to Paul and his companions. It also makes sense, as I mentioned above, to ask a woman to intervene between two women. However, if it is Lydia, Paul’s language of “legitimate yoke-partner” again raises the question of whether he had married her.

I think the most likely thing is actually very mundane and a bit of a let down. The term “yoke-partner” is one word in Greek : Syzygos. It could be simply someone’s name. So, Paul is saying, “I ask you, faithful Syzygos, to help these women…” Now, it’s true, there is no record in any other ancient Greek literature of Syzygos as a name. But we don’t actually have a way to know every single name that was used in antiquity. And it might even be a nickname.

One reason I think it’s a name is because Paul is making a point about names. He names the two women, then (in my opinion) Syzygos, and then Clement, and then: “the rest of my coworkers whose names are in the book of life.”

That’s the big deal here: their names are written in the book of life. That should be far more important than any dispute.  That should help to mitigate any issue between the two women. So, the message goes sort of like this: “Think about your dispute with the perspective that both of your names are written in the book of life, along with these others. Surely, in light of that, you can find a way to resolve things.”

Paul continues with more truth that far outshines any disputes:

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7, CSB

We have already talked about what it means to rejoice in the Lord, so I won’t repeat that here. If you missed it, go back and read, or listen to, Philippians #11. So we come to one of the most quoted verses in the Bible, verses 6-7, above.

I’ve been a pastor  long enough to know that some people read verses 6-7, and say, “Yeah. Right. Just ‘don’t worry.’ Like that’s ever going to happen. I do pray, but I don’t have this amazing peace.”

I think sometimes we rush this process. We are anxious about something, and so we say something like “Lord, please fix this. Please, please, fix this the way I want you to fix this. Amen.” When our prayers do not result in the unusual peace of God, I think it is because we are ignoring a lot of what it actually says here. I want to dig into the Greek briefly, and then make this practical.

As you may have noticed, depending on which translation you have, there appear to be three words for prayer here. The CSB, quoted above has: prayer, supplication (thanksgiving) and requests. But actually, I think these words have slightly different meanings. Here is my own rough, literal-ish translation:

“Do not, in even one thing, be anxious, but in all things, through worship, in prayer, permeated with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.”

The word often translated “prayer” is actually closer to “worship.” I’m talking about the Greek word: “proseuche.” In our modern way of talking sometimes “worship” means an entire worship service, including singing, prayer, fellowship, communion and hearing a sermon. At other times, when people use the same word—worship—they mean only the singing part of a church service. So, in the same way, sometimes the Greek word proseuche means specifically and only prayer, and at other times it encompasses all that might be included in “worship.”

I think, given that Paul uses two other words for types of praying, that Paul is using the word proseuche (“prayer” in the CSB) he means not only prayer, but worship in general. This is why: When we experience anxiety, the first line of defense is not asking God for stuff, but, rather, worship. When we worship God, we admit that he is God, and we are not. We remind ourselves of who he is. Among other things, he is the Creator and Master of the universe, infinitely more wonderful, wise, holy and good than we can ever comprehend. You can see, when you think about it, that when we worship, we are undermining our reasons for anxiety. God is so much bigger than our troubles. His goodness so far outweighs our sufferings that our sufferings are hardly worth mentioning. When we worship the Lord, we are resetting our perspective, reminding ourselves of God’s infinite goodness and his wonderful, eternal plans for us. When God is big in our hearts, there is very little room left over for anxiety.

I think this concept is also found in the Lord’s Prayer, as taught by Jesus. We start our prayer (or worship) by praising God as our Father, and then praising and seeking his holiness and goodness to be revealed in our lives, and the lives of others. We want him glorified. Next, we ask for his kingdom—his rule and his purposes—to be manifested in this world. Then we ask for his will to be done in all things, including our own hearts, minds and lives. Then, and only then, after we have set our perspective in terms of God’s greatness, love, holiness and purposes on earth, can we turn to our specific requests for our “daily bread.”

As Jesus taught about praying for daily bread, Paul says here that there is also a place to unburden ourselves to the Lord (“supplication”). We are to cast our cares on him, trusting that he does care for us (1 Peter 5:7). It is good and right to express our fears and failings and needs to the Lord. He is ready to hear, and he remembers that we struggle. We don’t need to hold back. When we bring our supplications to God after we have worshipped, we will already be on the path away from worry.

But, if we really want to let go of anxiety and experience God’s peace, even when we pray, we do so by permeating our prayer and worship with thanksgiving.

When we thank God, we are taking a concrete step of trust. Thanking him is one of the big ways in which we actually “take hold of” his promises. Thanking him opens a two-way portal by which we transfer our troubles to the Lord, and leave them there with him, and he, for his part, returns peace to us.

Many people have discovered that thankfulness can absolutely transform your life. So, for example, say you have a job that you really hate. But, if you start each day by thanking God for the things you don’t hate, you find that it balances out the negatives in your life, or at least, it does to some degree. I often start my thanksgiving with something small, like hot water as I take a morning shower, and towels, and coffee. The more I thank the Lord, the more I think of other things I can thank him for. Soon, it’s not just that I have thanked God for many specific things, but I find my heart being drawn into an entire attitude of thanksgiving. And it is very hard to be both extremely grateful and extremely anxious at the same time. Many, many people have found this sort of thing to be very helpful in maintaining a peaceful heart and positive attitude.

I want to challenge us to push the envelope on giving thanks. I speak from personal experience when I say that I have learned to thank God even for things that I really, really don’t like. To do so, is an act of trust. When I thank God for something that I wish he would change, I am acknowledging that He is in control, and I am not. I am reorienting myself around the truth that he knows better than I do. I am agreeing with his Word, that:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

This can be tremendously freeing. It can create a vast reservoir of peace and joy in your life. I know this to be true, because I have experienced it. In my struggle with chronic pain, I began to find real peace and joy when I started to thank God not, in spite of the pain, but for the pain. At the same time I began to thank him for all of the other stupid stuff that was going on in my life that I wished was different.

When I started doing this, it was a pure act of will. I didn’t feel grateful for my pain, or any of the other stuff. I said, “I think I need to do this Lord. So, I don’t feel thankful, but even so, as an act of will, or intent, I am thanking you for this pain.” I went on and thanked him for financial hardship, and several other things. One of the first times I did this, Kari and I did it together. I won’t say we ended by feeling truly thankful, but we did start to feel a little bit more peace.

I have been living with kidney-stone-level-intense pain for almost eleven years. I’m in pain right now, as I write this. I spend hours out of every day just trying to cope with the pain. How could I have peace about such a thing? By remembering that God is God, and I am not. By thanking God that he works all things (even this pain) for my good. And by and large, though many days are just plain physically difficult to deal with, I do have peace about my pain.

My daughter has cancer, and this week has been a difficult one. I am not yet to the point of thanking God for the cancer. I don’t think he sent it to her. But I am at least thanking him for how well my daughter has handled the pain, humiliation and difficulty of this disease. I thank him that she is still with us in this mortal life. I thank him for how the beauty of her character shines as she rests in the Lord for all things. This is a beauty that no one might see, unless she had cancer.

I don’t think anyone gives thanks with 100% purity of heart, 100% of the time. We have grace to fail. But if you are struggling with anxiety, if you are not experiencing God’s peace, I know of no better way to begin to change that other than by developing a habit of thankfulness to God. And if you are not interested in learning to give thanks in all things, I think you should not expect to find peace, or to be free of anxiety. Presenting your requests without worship and without thankfulness is not a Biblical pathway to the peace of God that passes understanding.

If this is difficult for you, I have one final suggestion: ask God for help in becoming more grateful, and when you do, thank him for hearing your prayer. I’m completely serious. We can do nothing useful on a spiritual level without the work of the Holy Spirit in us. So ask for the Holy Spirit to give you an attitude of thankfulness.

And then, as much as possible try to put this into effect. Don’t just ask God for stuff, or pray about what bothers you. Worship him, remind yourself that He is God, and he is a good Father, and he is holy, and all of life was created for his purposes, and to bring him glory. Then, when your heart is settled in the fact that God is God, and you are not, go ahead and unburden yourself to him. Finally, leave those burdens with him by thanking him.