COLOSSIANS #32: THE JOY OF MALE AND FEMALE

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God created our genders deliberately, and with a purpose. The Bible teaches us how to work with that fact in loving each other and following Jesus. The latest science decisively confirms that human beings are gendered to the core. However, because we are all made in the image of God, gender is something even deeper than biology. Women and men are made to relate to one another in a way that shows the world something of the glory of God. This happens in all sorts of contexts, not just marriage.

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COLOSSIANS #32  Colossians 3:17-18

Before we address our specific verses for today, let’s remember the context. Throughout the end of chapter two, Paul was addressing the problem of legalism. Legalism is all about performing well in order to manipulate God into accepting you, and doing what you want him to do. He explained that in Jesus we have died to performing well in order to get God to approve of us. We do not have what it takes to get God to do our bidding. Instead, we throw ourselves on the mercy of God, trusting in what Jesus  Christ did for us, rather than our own efforts. Next, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, detailed several things from which we are free, because of the death of Christ.

Then, in chapter three, he addressed the problem of lawlessness. Because we have died to the things of this world, and because we have already been included spiritually in the resurrection of Jesus, we are called to live a certain way. We are supposed to draw on the life of the Spirit, and avoid the life of our dying flesh, which is incurably self-oriented.

Paul then explained we need to put off our old sinful flesh, and no longer participate in the sins that we used to love, no longer insist on getting our wants and needs met in our way. He moved on in verse 9, and said we have put off the old sinful self and put on the new self, which is being renewed in the image of Jesus.

In verse twelve, he started to tell us what this new life looks like. He explained that the character of Christ wants to shine through us, and what it means to live according to the character of Christ. We considered the several aspects of living that way, like having compassionate hearts, and forgiving each other, and so on.

Last time, we considered that everything we do, all that we say and whatever we’re about, we do it in the name of Jesus Christ.

Now, we are going to get specific. We are still talking about what it looks like to let the character of Christ shine through us. We are still talking about how to do everything in the name of Jesus. The Holy Spirit through Paul, now begins to explain what all of that looks like for different groups of people: Wives, husbands, children, fathers, servants and masters.

When we understand the context, we realize that these are not just random, isolated instructions that cropped up out of nowhere. These verses are there to help us think about how we do everything in the name of Jesus in different parts of our lives. They are not given to help the Colossians fit in with culture of their city – nothing at all in this letter is about how they can be better citizens of this world. It is all about living this life with an understanding that we are already full citizens in the life to come.

So, with that understanding, I give you our verses for the next several weeks:

You wives, put yourselves under the authority of your husbands, because this is what is right in the Lord.

You husbands, love your wives sacrificially, and do not cause them to be grieved, or make their lives bitter.

(My own “amplified” translation from Greek, Colossians 3:17-18)

The more direct translation of verse 17 is: “wives submit to your husbands…”

I want us to take our time with this subject. These are short sentences in both English and Greek, but they represent something that is very deep and far reaching. “Jesus died for your sins,” is also a short sentence, but it might take years of thought and study to “unpack” all of the meaning in those five words. So, these verses are also short, but they represent the end-product of a deep and important subject.

In our culture today, verse 17 sounds ridiculously old fashioned. To many people, it might seem oppressive, and even perhaps hateful toward women. When we encounter any bible passage that disturbs us, we can take one of three possible approaches:

  1. We can study and pray and press into what the Holy Spirit is saying through such verses. With the faith that God knows best, and wants to speak to us through the Bible, we humbly approach the text to learn from it. We may be surprised by what we find, or we may find what we want or expect, but either way, we let the scripture set the agenda.
  2. We can decide that we don’t like it, and so we study and think and work on ways to make the verses irrelevant or meaningless to our life today. Or, we might try and find ways to show that the meaning of the verse is something other than what it seems to say so obviously. But we start with our own agenda, and try to make the scripture conform to that.
  3. We simply dismiss the verse. We ignore it, or we simply decide that we are not going listen to it, or apply it to our lives. We might even try to say that it shouldn’t be in the Bible.

Because our culture automatically rejects verses like “wives submit to your husbands,” many Christians have taken approaches #2 or #3. They start with the desire to make the Bible conform to 21st century Western cultural ideas about gender. This is a very flawed way to read and understand the bible. Instead of letting the text lead them wherever it goes, they already know where they want it to go, and so they try to make it go there. Or, they find ways to say that we don’t need to pay any attention at all to such teachings. Christians who want to “neutralize” bible verses like this believe that they are champions of gender-equality, and so they call themselves “egalitarians.” Sometimes they also call themselves “evangelical feminists,” or “Christian feminists.”

Christians who read these verses in a basically straightforward way call themselves “complementarians” because they believe that the bible teaches that men and women were created uniquely different in order complement each other. I believe that gender is all about reflecting the image of God to the world, so I call that idea “imagism.”

I have studied the issues surrounding this verse, and the other verses like it, for a long time. In fact, I wrestled with this subject for fifteen years before finally submitting to what I believe the Bible teaches. I desperately wanted to be able to be an egalitarian in good conscience. I did not want to appear to be oppressive to women, and I wanted this subject to be a non-issue. I wanted to fit in with our culture, including a lot of church culture, and not rock the boat.

Unfortunately, what I have learned convinces me that egalitarians are wrong. Even worse, the way they treat the Bible in order to make it conform to their ideals is extremely flawed, and dangerous to true Christianity. If we treated the entire Bible the same way egalitarians treat just these texts about men and women, it would make Christianity meaningless.

Now, of course, I might be the one who is wrong. However, if I am wrong, it is not because I have failed to be truly open to the alternatives. If I am wrong, it’s not because I have a prejudice against women. if I had any prejudice to begin with, it was in favor of feminism. If I am wrong, it is not because I have failed to diligently study what the  Bible says about gender, nor have I failed to study and understand what egalitarians say, and how they interpret the scriptures. If I am wrong, it is not for lack of wrestling in prayer and crying out to the Holy Spirit to speak to me about this subject. In fact, I have prayed numerous times, over a period of years, “Lord, change my heart and my mind! Show me how I can return to being an egalitarian!”

As I say, all of my study and prayer doesn’t automatically make me right, but  I would like to challenge those who disagree with me to put in some significant time and effort on this subject before dismissing what I say, and to have the integrity to let the texts lead you wherever they go, regardless of whether or not that’s what  you want. If you want to learn more about why I think egalitarianism is such a problem, or if you want to discover, in depth, what the Bible says about gender, please get a copy of my book, In God’s Image,” available on Amazon (kindle version also available). The link will take you there.

Although these are just two simple verses, they represent an understanding of human nature that is rapidly being lost in today’s world. These verses tell us that men and women are different in certain ways, and so as we relate to one another, we should be conscious of those differences, and live accordingly. In short, the Bible teaches that God created human beings in two genders, male and female, and both of the genders are vitally important for human flourishing, and also for showing the world what God is like. Consider Genesis 1:26-27

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

(ESV, Genesis 1:26-27)

You see that God intended human beings to display “his image;” that is, show the world what he is like. It sounds at first like it is only talking about “man,” but verse 27 makes it clear that in order for the image of God to be displayed in the world, both male and female are important and necessary. This comes in the very first chapter of the Bible, and we learn several important things:

  • Human beings are created to display what God is like
  • In order to show the world what God is like, both male and female are necessary
  • Therefore male and female are not the same, and the differences between them are important
  • Since God does not have a body, our gender, to display his image, must be at least partially spiritual.
  • Male and female are therefore equally important, equally valuable.

One of the great weaknesses of egalitarianism is that it confuses “equal” with “the same.” But, if the Bible is true, our masculinity and femininity make us different, and those differences are good and right and important and valuable. We aren’t just androgynous souls poured into either male or female bodies – we are male and female right down to our essence. We are male and female, even spiritually. The way that we relate to each other is supposed to be a reflection of image of God.

I realize that to write this in 2020, I sound like a horrible bigot. This is one of the areas where Western culture has been running away from God at a screamingly-fast pace. Even ten years ago, very few people would have found what I just said to be offensive. Twenty years ago, people would have told me I was crazy if I thought that in the year 2020, people would call me a bigot for saying that the male and female genders were intentionally created by God, and that the differences between the two is profound.

Am I just a bigot? Are Christians crazy to say that men and women are deeply different? Thankfully, whatever the culture says, facts are facts. Today, we know more about the physical facts of being male and female than ever before, and the more we learn, the more it is confirmed that humanity is gendered to the core, and the differences are profound. You can choose to believe the earth is flat, but that does not make it so. You can choose to believe that genders are fluid and there is really no such thing as male and female, but that does not make it so.

Dr. Leonard Sax, a researcher and clinical child-psychiatrist, presented some of the recent research in his 2005 Book, Why Gender Matters. Boys and girls, women and men, are profoundly different at a fundamental, biological level, and the biggest differences are found, not in sex organs, or even hormones, but in our brains. The very tissue of our brains is different, depending upon our sex. Sax writes:

Scientists analyzed thirty samples of human brain tissue collected from different areas of the brain and different individuals. The scientists were not told the sex of the individuals from whom the specimens were taken. But just by analyzing the expression of two different genes in the brain tissue, they were able to correctly identify the sex of every one of the thirty specimens, female versus male. Female brain tissue and male brain tissue are intrinsically different.

Sax cites research that demonstrates that girls and women see color distinctions that boys and men are incapable of perceiving. This is not because of socialization – it is the result of different nerve and brain pathways that are hard-wired by the time babies are born. Every step in every neural pathway from the retina to the brain is different between males and females. That means that men and women literally, physically, see the world differently.

Females have more sensitive hearing. This is simply fact. Also, the mechanisms for sensory perception, particularly pain, are different between females and males. To put it another way, men and women experience pain differently, at a cellular level.

Not only is our brain tissue different, but the brain is organized differently. Men seem to have a distinct division in brain function between the left side of the brain and the right. The left side of the brain, in men, is the center for language. This is not the case for women, who seem to distribute functions equally between each side of the brain.

Dr. Sax, who is both a clinical child-psychiatrist and a scholar, writes:

Girls and boys play differently. They learn differently. They fight differently. They see the world differently. They hear differently. When I started graduate school in 1980, most psychologists were insisting that those differences came about because parents raised girls and boys in different ways. Today we know that the truth is the other way around: parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth. Girls and boys behave differently because their brains are wired differently.

Later, he adds:

Human nature is gendered to the core. Work with your child’s nature, work with your child’s innate gender-based propensities, rather than trying to reshape them according to the dictates of late-twentieth-century political correctness.

What is true of boys and girls is, obviously, also true of women and men, perhaps even more so. Our verses today start with that understanding: Women and men are gendered to the core. Therefore, the Bible teaches us how to work with our innate gender-based propensities. In our text today, the instructions to wives are different from the instructions to husbands. God understands our gendered natures – he created them for a purpose! Therefore it should be obvious that men and women need to focus on different things in order love each other well, in order to do all in the name of Jesus.

We have a lot to chew on so far, but we have only just laid the foundation. Don’t worry about the s-word (submit) for now. Instead, for this next week, take time to thoughtfully appreciate the gift of your gender, and also the unique things about the opposite gender. When we do this with an awareness of the Holy Spirit, we can appreciate without either lusting, or wonder without getting frustrated with things we don’t understand.

We are both indispensable to God’s plan to show his glory. Not only that, but each gender needs the other in order to fulfill that purpose. Men cannot display the image of God without women. Women cannot do it without men.

Women: know, and enjoy that God created you to bless the world as a woman. Men: know and enjoy that God created you to bless the world as a man. Both women and men: know that you cannot bless the world the way God intended without your opposite gender.

By the way, when I say that, I don’t mean that everyone has to get married, or they won’t be fulfilling God’s purpose. Jesus himself never married, nor did the apostle Paul, and maybe not Barnabas either. Jesus also taught that some people are called to be single (Matthew 19), and Paul passed on that teaching in 1 Corinthians 7.

When it comes to displaying the image of God through male and female, even single people are usually connected to families, and singles also have friends of the opposite sex. The point is, the way men and women interact with each other in all sorts of different contexts shows the glory of God, if we let Him.

WE NEED RESOURCES TO DO GOD’S WORK…..RIGHT?

judas-betrays-jesus

We think we could do a lot for God’s kingdom with twelve legions of angels. Or twelve million dollars, or twelve thousand people in our congregation, or – you get the picture. We think big and powerful is always good. We think we could do so much for God if only we had ______. But Jesus didn’t have ______.  Alone, with no weapons, no money, no power, Jesus accomplished the greatest thing for God’s kingdom that has ever been done.

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Matthew #94.  Matthew 26:47-74

A lot of the so-called “contradictions” of the Bible take place in this section of the gospels. There are small details that differ between Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Some are details about what time certain things happened, or where exactly Jesus was taken, and when. For instance, John records that they took Jesus first to the house of Annas, who was the former High-Priest, and father-in-law to the current High-Priest, Caiaphas. John says that after that, they took him also to the house of Caiaphas. The other gospels record only that Jesus was taken to the house of Caiaphas. This isn’t actually a contradiction, but merely an omission. Matthew doesn’t say that Jesus was not taken to Annas, but rather, he simply doesn’t mention it. John agrees with the others that Jesus was also taken to the house of Caiaphas.

I haven’t examined each so-called contradiction in that much detail, but I suspect that they could all be reconciled in similar ways. The truth is, all four gospels substantially agree about what was said and done during this twenty-four hour period. In a court of law, four eye-witnesses that agreed so thoroughly would be considered very powerful evidence. The fact that each gospel writer has his own unique perspective of those events is normal, and to be expected. In addition, the fact that there are small differences is powerful evidence that the gospels were not made up after the fact. If it really happened, you would expect everyone to have some slightly different memories of it. If it was made up, or edited later, all four gospels would say exactly the same thing. Once more, we find what we would expect to find if the Bible is what it claims to be.

As we examine the text, again I remind you that there might be dozens of worthwhile teachings from this passage, all of which would be good and useful for disciples of Jesus. I’m simply giving you what the Holy Spirit gives me about this text at this time.

The first thing that jumps out to me are Jesus’ words to Judas: “Friend, why have you come?” Jesus knew why Judas had come. He already knew that Judas would betray him – we saw that in 26:21-25. So, why ask the question?

I think it is one more final opportunity for Judas to repent. We saw how Jesus gave Judas the opportunity to repent during the last supper (see Matthew #91), but once more Jesus is opening the door for Judas. I think he is saying, “Why did you follow through? Why, after I warned you, did you still do this? You should have stayed away.” I think even at this point, Judas could have repented. Jesus still would have been captured, but Judas could have broken down, asked Jesus for forgiveness, and come back to him. As we will see, he did not.

Next, comes the swordplay. John tells us that it was Peter who struck the blow, and that the man who lost his ear was a man named Malchus, a servant of the high priest. Luke tells us that Jesus healed the man. They all four tell us that Jesus put a stop to the violence almost immediately.

52Then Jesus told him, “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up a sword will perish by a sword. 53Or do you think that I cannot call on My Father, and He will provide Me at once with more than 12 legions of angels? 54How, then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way? ”

 55At that time Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out with swords and clubs, as if I were a criminal, to capture Me? Every day I used to sit, teaching in the temple complex, and you didn’t arrest Me. 56But all this has happened so that the prophetic Scriptureswould be fulfilled.”

Then all the disciples deserted Him and ran away. (Matt 26:52-56, HCSB)

Verse 52, of course, is the source of the famous quote: “Those who live by the sword will die by the sword.” I think this is worth unpacking a little bit.

First, we see in the New Testament a change from the Old. During Old Testament times, the people of Israel were often used by God militarily to punish rebellious nations. God even used the armies of pagan nations to discipline Israel. But in the New Testament, we have a change. Jesus now says that those who live by the sword will die by the sword. In other words, the time for God’s people to use physical violence for God’s purposes is over.

In political and religious discussions, it is common for non-Christians to say: “The Bible teaches violence to God’s enemies. How can you be so critical of other religions like Islam, which teaches the same?” But the Christian Bible does not approve violence as a means for Christians to advance God’s Kingdom. In Christianity, the New Testament supersedes the Old Testament; that is, we interpret the Old Testament through the lens of the New. If there is a difference, the New Testament supersedes the Old. Therefore, we see that Jesus taught that now, since His own death and resurrection that redeemed us, violence is not an appropriate way to advance the kingdom of God. I can only say that though Christians have sometimes claimed the support of the Bible in using violence, they did so in ignorance of the teaching of Jesus, who, after all, also told us to turn the other cheek when we are struck, and to love our enemies.  In addition, the New Testament teaches us that the real battle is not physical, but spiritual. Paul writes:

10Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil. 12For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. (Eph 6:10-12, HCSB)

Christians, either in the past, or in the present, who interpret the Bible  to condone violence (except in self-defense) are using bad and invalid interpretation practices. They are out of step with the entire history of Christian theology. Though the crusades and the Spanish Inquisition used violence in the name of Jesus, it cannot be justified with consistent Bible interpretation; it can’t be justified with words of Jesus himself. Christian theology has always been consistent on this.

Jesus, in his words to Peter about the sword, is saying this: “That isn’t how it works, Peter. If it worked that way, I could call down legions of angels to force people to submit to me.” Instead, in the spiritual battle, Jesus chose the way of humility, submission and even suffering. God’s kingdom comes about through those sorts of things.  We see that Peter, later in life, learned this lesson well. He writes to Christians in Asia Minor:

19For it brings favor if, mindful of God’s will, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly. 20For what credit is there if you sin and are punished, and you endure it? But when you do what is good and suffer, if you endure it, this brings favor with God. 21For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in His steps.

22He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth; 23when He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He was suffering, He did not threaten but entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly.

 24He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; you have been healed by His wounds. 25For you were like sheep going astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. (1Pet 2:19-25, HCSB, some parts made bold by me for emphasis)

I think there is a related lesson here, also. The kingdom of God is not made real, or advanced, through human beings forcing it. James writes:

for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. James 1:20  (HCSB)

Jesus himself says, “How would the scriptures be fulfilled if I used all of the tremendous force at my disposal? How could the Kingdom of God be accomplished?”

We don’t think this way. We think we could do a lot for God’s kingdom with twelve legions of angels. Or twelve million dollars, or twelve thousand people in our congregation, or – you get the picture. We think big and powerful is always good. We think we could do so much for God if only we had ______. But Jesus didn’t have ______.  Alone, with no weapons, no money, no power, Jesus accomplished the greatest thing for God’s kingdom that has ever been done.

The kingdom is advanced, as Peter says, when we follow in Christ’s footsteps of suffering and humility. Many times I have seen people seek to advance the kingdom, not through violence per se, but through what I would call “force.”

I think I may have done that myself. I fancy myself a pretty intelligent guy. I’ve read a few books in my time, and I remember a lot of what I read. Every so often I meet someone who claims to be an atheist. This used to get me very excited, because I have yet to meet someone who can out-argue me about the reality of God and the reliability of the Bible. But the truth is, my arguments – which have plenty of intellectual “force” – have never convinced anyone to become a Christian. I have helped to lead a number of people into God’s kingdom, but it never came about through any kind of “force” at all. The kingdom of God doesn’t happen through violence or force.

I’ll leave you with one additional thought. The kingdom of God comes through suffering and humility: and that is scary. As Jesus embraced this right before their very eyes, as he declared that the scriptures were being fulfilled in their presence, the disciples ran away. I can’t help but think that if they had really known the end of the story, they might have stuck around. But even though Jesus had told them it would all be OK in the end, they were so shocked and terrified by what was happening, they fled. It was a mistake they never made again afterwards.

Sometimes, the suffering and humility that goes along with following Jesus might be scary or unpleasant. But Jesus has already told us how it will end. There is no reason to fear. To run away would be silly. It sometimes feels horrible in the middle of it, but the ending is better than we can imagine.

Let the Holy Spirit continue to speak to you about these verses today.