REVELATION #47. PARENTHESES: SEX, MARRIAGE AND CIVILIZATION

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Even here at the end of Revelation, Jesus mentions the problem of sexual immorality. The Bible’s teaching on sex is much greater and deeper than simply “don’t do it.” In fact, the Bible tells married couples that they should “do it.” Let’s investigate the importance of Biblical sexuality together. Many people have failed in this area, but Jesus offers forgiveness and holiness to everyone who trusts in him, no matter what they have done, or not done.

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Revelation #47. Revelation 22:12-15

The second declaration of Jesus is this:

12 “Look, I am coming soon, and my reward is with me to repay each person according to his work. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. (CSB, Revelation 22:12-13)

I have spoken several times in this series about the preciousness of God, reward in heaven, and having Jesus as your desire, and reward. So, I won’t reiterate all of that here. Just understand that Jesus felt that it was so important, it was one of the last seven things he said to his people on earth. We should focus on the joy and fulfillment we have in Jesus, even here and now in this life.

Now we move on to the third Declaration of Jesus:

14 Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. 15 Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. (ESV) Revelation 22:14-15

Here we have a reiteration of what a blessing it is to have your name in the book of life. There is once more, a reminder – from Jesus himself, that not everyone is willing to have Jesus make them holy. You may have noticed that Revelation frequently mentions lists of sins. In almost every list, among other things, you have sexual immorality. I want to spend the bulk of the time talking about this, because it is very important. Some people say that Christians talk about sexual immorality too much. I say, we don’t do it often enough. Here’s why: In our culture today, no one  saying that murder is not a sin. No one is going around saying, “Hey, it’s no big deal if you lie. In fact, if you lie in a loving way, it’s a beautiful thing.” But our culture is saying that sexual immorality is no big deal, when, according to the Bible, it is such a big deal that it keeps getting mentioned, even here in the very last section of Revelation.

By the way, of course I know that this is a sensitive subject. I know that some people have already failed in the area of sexual immorality. But please stay with me as we go through this topic together. Where there is Jesus, there is always hope. He suffered and died so that you could be not only forgiven, but made holy. If you are tempted to feel ashamed, let that lead you to repentance. If you have already repented, trust what Jesus says, that he has forgiven you, and cleansed you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7-9)

Sometimes, we Christians make the mistake of simply saying, “Just don’t have sex until you married.” That’s true and right, as far as it goes. But it might be helpful to talk about the big picture, about why sex within marriage is good and right, and why sex outside of it is wrong and destructive. It isn’t just about sex – it is about our whole view of what it means to be a human person, created by God.

Our culture does not believe that God made the world, and everything in it. Sex, therefore (according to them), is not from God, it is just a desire to be satisfied. In our present culture, most people think that the highest good is for each individual to satisfy their own desires in whatever way they please. Therefore, telling someone whom to have sex with (or whom not) is ridiculous and offensive.

But Christians believe that God created the world, and human beings, and that he has a purpose for everything he created. Sex is part of God’s creation, therefore it has meaning, and purpose, given to it by God himself. The Bible is clear about the meaning and purpose of sex. It is a shadowy reflection of the joy that we will have when we have true intimacy with God. It is inextricably bound up in love, no matter how much people don’t want to accept that. And one of the main purposes for sex is the formation of marriages, and then families, and then societies.

When sex is channeled into love and marriage, men and women are bound together with one of the strongest forces in creation. They work together to create families, and homes. When they do that, they ally themselves with other families and homes, and become communities. Communities come together to form societies. Societies based on strong marriages in this way have always, throughout history, created stable places where human beings thrived and bloomed. Of course, no society has ever been perfect, but strong sexual morality has been the basis for the greatest civilizations of the world, benefiting millions upon millions of people. You might say that the sex-drive, channeled in a Biblical way, builds great cultures, and allows the largest number of people to be safe and happy.

If this is the first time you are hearing this, please understand that this is not a new idea. Sir Edward Gibbon’s famous work The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire outlines this quite clearly, as do other respected scholars throughout history. Gibbon, by the way, was not a Christian, and so was not biased toward this idea in any way. Instead, he simply found these facts to be true. In modern times, however, this is something no one wants to hear, so the truth has been ignored, mocked, and even suppressed.

Now, on the other hand, where sex has not been confined to marriage, societies typically come apart.  We are witnessing that very thing today in Western culture.

In ancient cultures, sex was something that strong people inflicted on the weak. The result was a lot of pain and misery. The Judeo-Christian value of sex-only-in-marriage protected women from being used and cast aside. It created a stable environment for children to be raised in an emotional healthy atmosphere. It was the Christian sexual morality that changed the world, and made it a better place for all people, whether Christian or not.

Again, today, in Western culture, we think that the highest good is for each individual person to be satisfied however they see fit. For most people, that means using sex in such a way as to be personally satisfied. That separates sex from love. It creates situations where children are raised without strong men in the picture. That alone makes those children far more likely to be poor, uneducated, and involved in criminal activities. It makes them more vulnerable to abuse. It is not an exaggeration to say that the increases our culture is experiencing in violence, drug-use, suicide, the erosion of work ethic, the general rudeness – all these are, in one way or another, largely due to sexual immorality.

As Rod Dreher, author of the Benedict Option puts it:

Unbridled erotic passion creates chaos and disintegration. Eros that submits to Christ bears fruit in the gift of children, stable families and communities.

You might say, “But I’ll use birth control until I’m married. That will fix the problem.”

However, there is more to the story. We are spiritual beings, and everything we do has a spiritual aspect to it. Paul writes that if we engage in sexual immorality as Christians, we are actually somehow joining Jesus to the act.

15 Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? So should I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of a prostitute? Absolutely not! 16 Don’t you know that anyone joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For Scripture says, The two will become one flesh. 17 But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
18 Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. 19 Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body. (CSB 1 Corinthians 6:15-20)

Sex is a deep, powerful, even spiritual connection. When you have sex, the Holy Spirit is there, within you. If it is with your spouse, this makes it a powerful force for the good of your marriage. If it is with someone else, you are literally dragging the Holy Spirit along with your sin.

When you recognize that God himself is there in the middle of sexual activity, it becomes a powerful force for blessing in marriage. When you recognize that you are dragging God himself along in the middle of your sexual sin…well, you see why the Bible mentions it so often.

Also, when you have sex with multiple partners, you bring a lot of baggage to the relationships you have. Eventually, when you get married, you are bringing all of that baggage to your spouse, and to your marriage relationship. That tends to make things difficult and complicated. On the other hand, when you follow God’s plan, you can truly say to your spouse: “You are truly my only one.” That is a tremendous gift of love, a gift of self-denial and self-sacrifice for another. It is a gift that echoes with the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. Which is another point: Marriage intended to give a picture of the relationship that God has with his people. When we have sex with multiple people, we are totally ruining that picture.

There is another thing that strikes me as ridiculously unrealistic. In today’s culture, we have the idea that before marriage, sex is more or less just about personal fulfillment. People are expected to fulfill themselves sexually when and how they please. Then, suddenly, after marriage, people who have maintained that sex with multiple partners is normal and good, suddenly have to live with only one sexual partner for the rest of their lives. This makes monogamy meaningless for all, and very difficult for many people.

Sexual immorality strikes at the very heart of what it means to be a human being, created and saved by God. God will not allow his New Creation to be destroyed by the kind of self-centered use of sex so common in our culture. It is one more warning for people to abandon the idols of self-fulfillment, and pursue the joy that God has for us when we submit to His plan.

One other thing that often does not get said. This means that sex between married people is good thing, thing that can bring powerful blessing to a marriage and family. If you are married, don’t use sex as a tool for manipulation, and don’t regularly abstain unless the two of you agree to, for a definite reason. I’m not saying that on my own: I am summarizing 1 Corinthians 7:1-7. Here is one piece of it:

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (ESV, 1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

Go read the Corinthians passage, preferably with your spouse. Most spouses have differing levels of desire, and that is something to work through lovingly. The spouse who is more eager for sex must be willing to work on other parts of the relationship. However, God’s plan is that was sex was supposed to be a normal, regular part of marriage.  Sex should not be used for leverage in your relationship. That isn’t what it is for.

There is nothing in the Bible to say that God’s plan for sex has changed. In fact, the idea that spouses should not have sex with each other is just as wrong as the idea that they should have sex with other partners.

By the way, some people try to get rid of that passage in 1 Corinthians 7:1-7, because at the very end, Paul, referring to only one part of what he said, writes, “I say this as a concession, not a command.” The Greek there is very clear that the “concession” is only his idea that the couple abstain for mutually agreed upon periods for prayer. All of the Greek verbs in the rest of that passage are imperative commands, given in the present tense, meaning “this is what you should be doing.” They are clearly commands, not concessions. The only thing that is not a command is the idea that you abstain for a while for prayer.  Flatly refusing your spouse is no part of God’s plan for marriage. Listen to a few of the ancient Christian writers:

You have given up your wife, to whom you are bound. This is a big step you have taken. You are not abusing her, you say, but claiming that you can be chaste and live more purely. But look how your poor wife is being destroyed as a result, because she is unable to endure your purity! You should sleep with your wife, not for your sake but for hers. (Origen, Commentary on 1 Corinthians)

This applies equally to husbands and wives, of course.

If a woman stays away from her husband, she will make him angry, and vice versa. That is why Paul insists that [abstinence] must be by mutual consent. (Theodoret of Cyr. Commentary on the First Epistle to the Corinthians)

Theodoret also makes it clear that these things apply equally to husbands and wives. There are not two sets of rules, one for men, another for women. We both submit to the same command of God. One more:

Great evils spring from this sort of continence [that is, married couples not having sex], if it is overdone. Adulteries, fornications and the destruction of families have often resulted from this. If a married man commits fornication, how much more will he do so if his wife denies herself to him? Unless there is mutual consent, continence in this case is really a form of theft. (John Chrysostom. Homilies on the Epistles of Paul to the Corinthians)

The scripture is clear. The wisdom of the ages concurs. Sex in marriage is a blessing that is not to be denied each other without mutual consent. Now, that may cause tension and friction in some marriages. In fact, it is normal to have to work through relational issues in order to have good sex. This means that God’s plan uses the power of sex as a motivator to work out your issues. It forces couples to deal with their issues, and this ultimately leads to greater intimacy and happiness in marriage.

I am not naïve. I’m sure that a great many people reading this this have already sinned in the area of sexuality.  If you have not repented, and started down a new road: well, let this be a warning to you. The passage is quite clear – if you choose to hold on to sexual immorality rather than Jesus, you will not enter the New Creation.

On the other hand, if you have repented, if you are trying to walk in the Spirit, on the path of Jesus, then listen:

3 We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us, 5 made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace! 6 He also raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might display the immeasurable riches of his grace through his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift ​— ​ 9 not from works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do. (CSB, Ephesians 2:3-10)

God can redeem the past. Jesus came for this very reason: to forgive us, to cleanse us, and give us a new nature. If you have repented for your past sexual sin, then receive God’s grace and forgiveness, and move on. Trust that he has made you holy, and rely on Him to help you work through the issues you may have caused by your past behavior.

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