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James 3:13-18

            Brothers and sisters in Christ, welcome back for another look at the Serenity Prayer and how God can use it in our lives as part of His work in transforming us into the image of Christ. Two weeks ago, we talked about serenity – the ability to accept with peace and confidence the reality that life is sometimes difficult and painful. Last week, we talked about courage and the need at times to take action in response to those circumstances. This pretty naturally leads to the question, “How do I know when to serenely accept something and when to courageously take action to change it?” And this week, we will look at at least a partial answer to that question. We are going to talk about asking God for the wisdom to know the difference.

            What does it mean to have wisdom? We will look to the Biblical text in just a minute, but before we do that I want to distinguish between wisdom and knowledge. Knowledge is information, facts, data. These days, you can learn in five minutes on your phone what would once have taken hours at the library to look up. Is that good or bad? Probably some of both. But my point here is that some knowledge is pretty easy to obtain. How much did it rain in London yesterday? Who holds the world record for the 100m dash? When was Louis the 14^th King of France? How can I get to this address? But having information and knowing how to use that information – those are two different things. Wisdom is more concerned with the second.

            For instance, knowledge can tell you where you can purchase a certain piece of equipment for your home or business, how much it will cost, even how long the warranty will last. But it takes wisdom to know if now is the right time to make that purchase. And particularly when it comes to human relationships, knowledge may be important, but wisdom is far more helpful in navigating those relationships. So, one way to look at wisdom is by saying, “How do I use the information and tools that I have?” And as Christians, we are asking, “God, how do You want me to use the information and tools that You have given me in order to bring You glory?” This includes the tools of serenity and courage – things that He has been giving us in response to our prayers.

Wisdom is something that appears to be pretty high on God’s radar for us. The Bible is full of references to wisdom and descriptions of wisdom, including entire books of the Old Testament like Job, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. Several of the psalms also connect with that theme of wisdom. But I want to start with a New Testament reference to wisdom. The book of James, traditionally assigned to James the brother of Jesus, is clearly influenced by his knowledge of the Jewish wisdom tradition. As with most of the New Testament, the Jewish background that prepared the way for the Messiah takes on new depths once Jesus has come and paved the way for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. So, while the language that James uses would have been very familiar to his readers, who were primarily early Jewish Christians, he is adding depth to their understanding now that the Messiah has been revealed. In some ways, this is similar to what Jesus was doing with the law when He preached the Sermon on the Mount – building on a foundation that God has laid in Israel and taking it farther than Israel had dreamed it could go.

            Let’s look at one of the passages in James that describes wisdom. We’re going to read from James 3:13-18.

“13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

            There’s a lot packed into these six verses. If God gives us wisdom, what is it going to look like? One of the first attributes James mentions is humility. There’s one place where the difference between knowledge and wisdom comes sharply into focus. I love the way C.S. Lewis describes humility in Mere Christianity at the end of the chapter The Great Sin, which is about pride:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

Honestly, I’m tired of hearing Christians – myself included – go on and one about how smart we are, how we have the right answers to everything, and how everyone ought to just stop and listen to us. We may have the right knowledge – but in that case we are still lacking in wisdom. And that can be hard when I do, in fact, have some right answers. But James is right to point us to humility as a key component of wisdom. If my response to a situation is built on how good it is going to make me look, or boosting my ego, that solution is not based in wisdom (at least, not in Godly wisdom). One of the most brilliant Bible professors I ever knew, a man who was fluent in multiple ancient languages, the contexts in which the passages were written, and the history of their interpretation, would often begin his answers to a difficult theological question by saying, “I might be wrong, but it seems to me…” His humility was profound.

            James goes on to talk about the dangers of envy and selfish ambition. Paul says almost the same thing in Philippians 2:3. He is calling the church in Philippi to imitate Christ in unity, and he also makes the connection between humility and selfish ambition:

“3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Am I seeking to get my own way in a situation? Am I trying to make sure I come out ok? Then I am probably not operating in wisdom. James associates that kind of wisdom with disorder, wickedness, and even the demonic. So, what is Godly wisdom like? We’ve already talked about humility, and the important role that it plays. Let’s look at a few more of the characteristics James mentions

            Full of mercy and good fruit. Mercy is so central to God’s character. And wisdom will often call on us to show mercy to others rather than demand what we may deserve in a situation. Our responses are to be full of the attitude that God has toward us – rich in mercy, slow to anger, and desiring repentance where there has been wrong. Wisdom, like love in 1 Corinthians 13, is not self-seeking and does not keep a record of wrongs. And I think James is intentionally connecting this to good fruit. Merciful actions toward others will often result in good fruit – and especially when we are engaging other believers. Of course, sometimes we don’t see that fruit until years later, if ever. But wise choices on our part should be ones that open doors to good outcomes in the lives of the people we are engaging.

            Impartial. Wisdom doesn’t play favorites. If we use the information or influence we have to steer the outcome of a situation toward what we want (instead of seeking what God wants), we are operating in that realm of competition to get what I want – we are engaging like the world does. James goes on in the next verses (which start chapter 4) to talk about how the world fights for what it wants, but that is not God’s way for us. And it can be so easy for me to convince myself that what I want is really what is best anyway. That’s why I need God’s wisdom – and in just a few minutes we will talk about some ways to help us sort through our own agendas, needs, and preferences to hear the wisdom of God more clearly.

            Sincere. Wisdom is honest in its dealings with others. Wisdom does not play the game of pretending to believe one thing so that we can manipulate a situation to get what we want out of it. God’s wisdom doesn’t need to be sneaky and deceptive in its dealings. When we are behaving wisely, we mean what we say, and we follow through on it as best we can. No promising one thing while intending to deliver another.

            And finally, peace. Wisdom leads to peace. Now, what is James, as a Godly Jew, thinking of when he uses his word for peace? The Hebrew word for peace is “shalom.” We often use “peace” to describe a situation where there is an absence of conflict. We sent the kids to their separate rooms so that we could have a little peace. But shalom is deeper. Shalom is not just an absence of conflict – getting everyone to put down their weapons. Shalom describes a situation where the conflict has gone away because the causes of the conflict have been appropriately and healthily dealt with. In other words, the peace that is a part of Godly wisdom is not just accepting whatever happens, no matter if it is right or wrong (that is not the serenity that we have been asking God to give us). But this peace is the peace that comes when things are well-settled. And that may actually require some healthy conflict in order to get to a place of real peace. Wisdom will move in the direction of peace – eventually. But wisdom does not always mean just doing what it takes to “keep the peace.” With God, things often are more difficult in the short-term, but He is looking toward a very long end – eternal even – and He is willing to have conflict now to bring true and lasting peace.

            My wife and I have had our struggles over the years with doing this well. I’ll give you one example that may seem small, but it points to a bigger problem. When we first started dating, I really wasn’t good at remembering flowers for special occasions. Well, one time I brought her some chrysanthemums. And she was so glad that I bought her some flowers that she made a big deal over them, and I decided that must be her favorite flower. For the next ten years or so, any time I got her flowers, I bought chrysanthemums. It turns out, those weren’t particularly her favorite. But she didn’t want to upset me or discourage my flower-buying, so she didn’t say anything. And I thought all was well until she eventually told me the rest of the story. Now I sometimes buy her chrysanthemums, but I also buy roses, or lilies, or whatever I see that makes me think of her. And in that small area of our lives, we are closer to shalom. But we only got there when she took the risk – found the courage – to bring up an area that could have caused conflict. By the way, there are much more significant examples of conflict in our marriage over the years – I just decided to tell a simple one.

            Okay, there’s several of the attributes of wisdom. But, in addition to praying, what else can we practically do to help us make wise decisions? Here are three things that I have found helpful in making wise decisions.

            First, slow down. Yes, some decisions have to be made in the moment, but even then, there is rarely a time where I am faced with a significant decision, and I can’t take a moment to breathe and ask God for help, rather than simply react. This is especially true for me when I’m feeling strong emotions about whatever is going on where I need wisdom. Alcoholics Anonymous has a great line for me to remember: “We pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action.” If I want wisdom, I generally need to stop, take a breath, remember that God is running the universe, not Wade, and see what He has to say.

            And most of the time, I don’t have to make a decision on the most important things in that moment. I usually have time to stop, to think, to pray. And what has become really important for me is having trusted friends that I can ask for input. When I am facing a difficult decision, it is easy for me to be blind to my pride, selfishness, hidden agendas, and mixed motives. And taking my own advice about what is wise has led me to some of the stupidest decisions of my life. When I talk to my wife, my fellow pastors, my most mature friends, and others, I can gain a perspective on the situation that is not skewed by what I know I want. And I am much more likely to receive the wisdom that God has for me.

             About two years ago, Jayme and I were trying to make a difficult decision about how to handle a situation with our children. We both stopped and prayed. We took time to think about it. And after months of doing that, we were still in different places about what God wanted us to do. So, we came together to Tom and Kari and laid out our perspectives as best we could. Jayme (my wife) and I agreed ahead of time that we would trust Tom and Kari and take their advice. I didn’t like their answer. They agreed more with Jayme. And we have followed their input since then. I still don’t know that I like it – but I agree that it was wise to listen to them. Involving other people takes courage, because I am surrendering my right to be in charge and trusting that God will use His people to help me.

            Here’s a different example, also family-related, where getting input from the Holy Spirit through other believers has led me towards the serenity to accept something I can’t change instead of the courage to change something. I run into this with my kids regularly. They have a problem. I have an answer. And my answer is probably right. But one of the wisest pieces of advice I’ve ever been given – and this applies to more than just my children – is, “Wade, stop answering questions that people aren’t asking you.” Wow! That requires a lot of the humility James talked about. I have to stop thinking of myself as the fount of information and answers and trust that God is at work in the situation, and sometimes the wisest thing for me to do is Shut Up! I don’t like that. And it may not always be the perfect answer – but it is often a good one.

            And that’s suggestion number three. Some of us, including me, can get hyper-focused on making sure we have the wisest answer, and then we get bogged down and don’t do anything because we are not completely sure which way to go. I am convinced that God is more interested in the long process of developing relationship with Him than He is whether we get a specific decision exactly right. So sometimes, we pause, we take input, and then we make the best decision we can, trusting that even if we got it wrong, God is able to work with us and in us and around us to bring things back on course. He certainly did that with the history of Israel. And He has certainly done that with me.

            So, when do we accept a thing we cannot change, and when do we courageously act to bring change? We ask God for wisdom. We look for answers that lead to humility, mercy, and true peace. We take a breath, ask others for help, and take action trusting that God can work in our imperfect decisions.

I’ll close again this week by praying the Serenity Prayer, and if God leads you, please feel free to join me in learning and praying this prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace.

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it to be.

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will – that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever.

Well, now we have gotten through the more familiar part of the Serenity Prayer. Next week we will start into the less-known part. May God bless you with serenity, courage, and wisdom until we talk again next week.