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Faced with a similar situation to the time Saul was in his cave, this time David almost failed, and took things into his own hands. Thankfully, the Lord sent a gracious, wise woman to remind him of right and wrong, and of the Lord’s promises. What about you and me? How do we respond when we are angry, or when we want to control things? Just as David was an example for us last time, Abigail is the one to imitate this time: to graciously speak the truth, and entrust ourselves to the Lord with the results.

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1 SAMUEL #26. 1 SAMUEL 25:1-38

As always, I strongly encourage you to read all of the text for this time, which is 1 Samuel chapter 25:1-38. It’s a little long to include as part of the text of the message here. Depending on what version you use, some things might be a little bit unclear, so let me set the stage. After the incident when David spared Saul’s life, Saul left David alone for a while, but apparently their issues were not really resolved. He didn’t invite David back to rejoin him in peace, and David didn’t push his luck. Instead, David and his men retreated further into the wilderness at the southern edge of Israel, the wilderness of Paran. This is desolate country, and it goes almost all the way down to the northeast corner of the Red Sea. It included some of the region where the Israelites wandered for forty years with Moses. In David’s time, it might have been a bit more green than now, however, it was still at least semi-arid, and people who kept large herds of sheep had to wander far into this wilderness in pursuit of water and food for the animals. There were no permanent towns or settlements there; it was kind of a no man’s land.

There was a man named Nabal who lived at the northern edge of this wilderness. He was very wealthy, and had large flocks of sheep and goats. Apparently, he regularly sent hired shepherds out into the wilderness of Paran with his flocks. They generally spent months at a time out with the flocks in this area. It was lonely and dangerous work for the shepherds. From time to time lions, bears and other animals attacked the sheep. At times lawless bandits would swoop down out of nowhere and steal some of the animals. In the spring time, the shepherds would return north with the sheep, bringing them back to the town of Carmel, where Nabal, the owner, would have them sheared, sell the wool, and butcher some of them also, and feast on the bounty of the harvest.

While Nabal’s shepherds and flocks were out in the wilderness, they encountered David and his men. At this point, David’s band numbered about six hundred. There was no way they could hunt and gather enough food to supply so many, therefore, it is certain that David and his men relied upon the kindness and generosity of others who lived at the edge of the wilderness. In spite of their need, they did not take any of Nabal’s sheep or goats when they encountered them. They certainly could have simply taken as many of the animals as they wanted – no small band of shepherds could have prevented them. Instead, they helped guard Nabal’s flocks against bandits and wild animals. In the springtime, when the herds were brought back from the wilderness, no doubt there were more than usual, since David’s men had helped protect them from the normal losses due to wild animals and bandits.

The owner of these animals, Nabal, was now cashing in on the bounty that David had helped to secure. So David sent word to Nabal respectfully asking for help for his men. He probably felt that one good turn deserved another. He could have demanded a certain percentage. He could have held all of the flocks of sheep for ransom in the wilderness until Nabal agreed to help him. Or, he could have simply taken them all. Instead, he basically said, “I have freely given protection to your people and animals. Ask your shepherds, and they will tell you. Now, would you please give us whatever you think is appropriate.”

Nabal responded with contempt and derision. He not only refused to help, but he deliberately insulted David.

Remember the previous chapter? Saul was trying to find and kill David. Though David had never done him wrong, and in fact, had risked his life time and again in Saul’s service, Saul was hell-bent on destroying David. (I am not swearing when I say “hell-bent,” I mean it literally. Saul’s rejection of God left him with a soul that was twisted to the purposes of hell). Even so, when David had the chance to fight back and destroy Saul, he did not do it. Instead, he said, “Let the Lord judge between me and you. Let the Lord bring about vengeance, if that is what he wants to do, but my hand will never be against you.” He rested in the Lord’s purposes, and refused to take matters into his own hands.

Well, here we are in a similar situation. Another powerful man had treated David unfairly. David had the ability to do something about it. But this time, David lost his cool. Rather than trusting the Lord to judge Nabal, he got into a towering rage, and started north with four-hundred of his men to destroy Nabal and his little empire.

And then comes the real heroine of the story, Abigail. She was Nabal’s wife. Some of Nabal’s men came to her, and explained what had happened. She made some immediate emergency decisions, and went out to meet David with plenty of food and supplies for his men.

Some of you have heard me preach through New Testament passages that teach us about biblical roles for women and for men. I think of Abigail as an amazing example of a woman who was used by God as a woman – not as a man. This is how it might look sometimes as we engage in the gender dance the Lord has designed for us. Abigail was wiser than everyone around her at this point in time. For a while, she was the only one who was truly committed to doing what was righteous, and she had to deal with two men in leadership who both wanted to do wrong (that is David, and Nabal). But she approached the situation with an amazing womanly grace and uniquely feminine strength.

She offered David gifts for himself and his men, which was the right thing to do. She also apologized for her husband. There is a play on words here. His name, Nabal, would have been pronounced “nu-bawl.” A Hebrew word for foolish or worthless is pronounced “nu-bawl-uh.” It’s a little like saying “Stu is acting just like his name: stupid.” (Deepest apologies to anyone named Stu who might be reading this).

Throughout the narrative it is clear that Abigail placed herself in David’s hands, and under his authority. However, while she was clearly submissive, she was not subservient. She did not hold back from exhorting David to do what was right. She reminded him of God’s promises to him. In particular, she gently reminded him that up until this point, he had fought only the Lord’s battles, and this battle he was going toward at that moment was not the Lord’s fight.

28 Please forgive my offense. The LORD will certainly give you, sir, a lasting dynasty, because you are fighting the LORD’s battles. May evil never be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone pursued you and sought your life, your life is wrapped in the bundle of life which comes from the LORD your God. But he will dispose of the lives of your enemies like stones thrown from a sling. 30 When the LORD does all the good he promised and makes you ruler of Israel, 31 you shouldn’t have a troubled conscience because you spilled blood for no good reason and claimed your own victory. (1 Samuel 25:28-31, God’s Word)

You can see that she reminded him of the incident with Saul that we read about in the previous chapter. That might have been months, or even years, ago by this time. She pointed out that David was once again in the same kind of situation. She encouraged David to trust the Lord, not his own strength, and to trust the Lord’s promises to him. She pointed out gently that destroying Nabal would be something he would regret later, and it would be a shameful blemish on his record of trusting the Lord. She did it all with womanly grace and attractiveness.

There is no doubt that Abigail was in the right, while both David and her husband were wrong. Even so, there is no sense in this narrative that Abigail has somehow taken on the role of a man, or that she was imposing some sort of authority or leadership over either one of them. This is one example of what biblical submission can look like. You can see it is not subservience, or rolling over and accepting whatever men want to say or do. In her submission, her grace and wisdom were powerful and attractive. Abigail is a beautiful example of a woman who plays a significant role in God’s kingdom without violating what the Holy Spirit says elsewhere in scripture about gender roles.

And here is something important: she really got David’s attention. I suspect that David, being in the foul mood he was in, would have reacted angrily to a man who came and told him he was being stupid and making a mistake. But Abigail, with her womanly grace, completely disarmed him. He repented, and freely confessed that she was right and he was wrong.

They parted, but obviously, David never forgot the exchange. Abigail went home. She was still in a tough place, because now that she had dealt with one angry man, she had to deal with another, her husband. We have to read between the lines, but everything I see here suggests that Abigail was trusting the Lord to work out that conversation also. The next morning she told her husband, straight out, what she had done. Apparently very soon after, he had a seizure from which he never recovered. The Lord took care of it for her. I think the last time I preached about male and female roles it was from 1 Peter chapter 3. One thing I said there is that women are not being asked to trust their husbands, rather, they are asked to trust the Lord. Abigail did exactly that.

So, a couple thoughts for application. I like knowing that David needed help. Here was the man who would become the greatest king known to Israel, and not only is he in hiding, but he is barely holding on, dependent upon donations from kind friends and strangers. David wasn’t just a lucky guy who had everything fall into place for him. He spent a significant portion of time in real need, and he never would have made it without help. This is humbling, but the fact that David lived this way encourages me when I feel humbled by my own needs.

When I was preparing this sermon, I wrote the paragraph after this one, and then took a break. During the break I found out that the person who repaired my wife’s computer not only failed to fix it, but also told us that her hard drive was dead (it was working just fine when we turned it in). In addition, without mentioning it, he removed her original hard drive, which was 256GB, and replaced it with one that was half the size. For the privilege of secretly taking our hard drive in exchange for a smaller one, and not fixing the computer, they charged us almost $200. Did they think we wouldn’t notice that it was a different hard drive? Were they treating us like idiots? I was caught up in thinking about all the things I would like to say to them, and the review I would write, and maybe a phone call to the appropriate authorities. In that frame of mind, I returned to work on this sermon, and read the following paragraph, which I had written just before the break:

I think the more important message, the main one, is about trusting the Lord, and not taking matters into our own hands. David made a great choice with regard to that in the incident with Saul. But this time, David let the situation get to him. Abigail had to remind him to leave it with the Lord, or he surely would have done something that he later regretted.

Sometimes, it’s hard to be a preacher. Seriously, this sort of situation really gets under my skin, and in the past I have sometimes said things (or said them in a particular tone) that would make me embarrassed to later tell the person I am in conflict with that I am a Christian and a pastor. I have never sworn at anyone, but I have certainly been angry, and said things that were unkind and unchristian.

I let things sit for a day or two, and then all the way to the shop I prayed that I would not be a poor representative of Jesus to the repair guy. The situation is still ongoing as I write this, but I can report that I didn’t say or do anything I regret, and even after our encounter, I wouldn’t be ashamed to tell the guy that I am a pastor.

As it turns out the message from this chapter of scripture is one that is repeated in many places throughout the Bible:

35 Vengeance and retribution belong to me [says the Lord]. (Deuteronomy 32:35, ESV)

22 Do not say, “I will repay evil”;
wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. (Proverbs 20:22, ESV)

29 Do not say, “I’ll do to them as they have done to me;
I’ll pay them back for what they did.” (Proverbs 24:29, ESV)

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, ESV)

19 Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry. 20 Human anger does not achieve God’s righteous purpose. (James 1:19-20, GNT)

Maybe you don’t tend to lose your cool, like I do. Many people who remain calm still struggle with the impulse to control everything. You might feel uncomfortable waiting for God to do his thing, maybe you wonder if he is ever even going to act, and so you take matters into your own hands, in order to make sure that it does get done, and gets done the way you want it to be. I think this passage is for you folks, as well. Part of David’s problem was uncontrolled anger. But the text clearly shows that part of the danger for him was the temptation to take matters into his own hands. I have observed that many people struggle with that same temptation.

Of course, there is a balance. We aren’t supposed to sit on our hands and never do anything. At times, following Jesus means we ought to do something in various situations. But even when we act, we need to do it with a sense that Jesus is acting through us. If you struggle to tell the difference between controlling things for yourself, or acting in response to faith in Jesus, ask yourself this question: Are you OK if things turn out differently than you intended them to? If you aren’t, you might be trying to control things. On the other hand, if you are OK no matter how things turn out, then you are probably acting from a place of faith.

One of the encouraging things here is that David blew it here, but someone else came along to graciously steer him away from doing the wrong thing. The Lord knows we are not perfect, and he has never expected his people to follow him without help. He gives us the help of the Holy Spirit inside us, and also, as demonstrated in this text, he gives the help of other people who are also trying to follow him.

Listen to what he has to say to you today.